It is currently 09 Sep 2010 06:24

All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Aviation jokes
PostPosted: 27 Jan 2010 15:49 
Admin
User avatar
 E-mail  WWW  YIM  

Joined: 13 Dec 2008 12:22
Posts: 1784
Location: Berkeley, USA

The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?"

The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"

The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"

The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table.

The pilot asked, "What's that for?"

"To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before
you will."


:)

_________________
My HeatWare


Top
 

 Post subject: Re: Aviation jokes
PostPosted: 27 Jan 2010 16:06 
Admin
User avatar
 E-mail  WWW  YIM  

Joined: 13 Dec 2008 12:22
Posts: 1784
Location: Berkeley, USA
Quote:
MILITARY WISDOM



'If the enemy is in range, so are you...' - Infantry Journal
------------
'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just
bombed.' - U.S. Air Force Manual
-----------
'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered
automatic weapons.' - General MacArthur
------------
'You, you, and you .... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.' - U.S.
Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.
------------
'Tracers work both ways.' - U.S. Army Ordnance
------------
'Five second fuses only last three seconds.' - Infantry Journal
-----------
'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'
------------
'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.' - Unknown Marine
Recruit
------------
'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.' - USAF Ammo
Troop
------------
'Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am
at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.'
------------
'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'

- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
------------
'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
------------
'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'
------------
'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
------------
'Even with ammunition, the USAF is just another expensive flying club..'
-----------
'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a
pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up ... The pilot dies.'
------------

'Never trade luck for skill.'
------------
The three most common expressions (famous last words), in aviation are:
'Why is it doing that?'
'Where are we?'
And
'Oh S...!'
-----------
'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully
complete the flight.'
------------
'Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we've never left one up there!'
-----------
'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person
on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.'
------------
'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill
you.' - Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
------------
'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.' Sign over
squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
------------
'If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.'
------------
'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power
to taxi to the terminal.'
------------
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off
the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the
rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks,
'What happened?'
The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'
- Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)

_________________
My HeatWare


Top
 

Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 8 hours [ DST ]



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group  
Design By Poker Bandits     
Updated By Kieron Thwaites (Ron2K)